Today is the first of June, which means by the end of the month I will be married. Holy cow.
Lindsay is driving here at this very moment, to be my shoulder and laughter and roommate for the final 24 days. I haven't seen her in way too long, and I cannot wait. The house is scrubbed and clean, all ready for company... except that the upstairs is a complete disaster because I've been packing up my room. Boxes of books, lots of empty shelves, and random things, sadly disorganized, all over the place. But we're heading to Virginia this weekend to start moving in to my new house! Andrew was given the key today. We have a place to live!
The enormity of the change that is coming hasn't really registered in my mind yet. Getting married, moving away permanently, living with a boy for the rest of my life . . . those are all really big changes. I'm becoming more and more intimidated by the task ahead. I don't mean to say that I'm getting cold feet, because I definately still want to marry that wonderful man. I just mean that I'm beginning to understand the seriousness of the promises I will make in a matter of days. To die to myself, to love him every day, no matter the circumstance, no matter the offense, the attitude, or the rights I think I have -- and nothing until death will part us. There are no rights in marriage, only the betterment of the other person. So, pray for me, reader, for I have never needed the work, love, and grace of my Lord Jesus Christ so very much. There is no way I can be a good wife without the gospel continuing its overhauling of my sinful, selfish heart.
I am getting excited about marriage, don't worry. It's just that it's not to be taken lightly. I'm already thinking about what to pack for our honeymoon -- to the secret destination. Where are we going? I have no idea. Where do you think?