We're doing this thing, this parenting thing. Andrew and I look at each other in wonder every now and then and realize that, day by day, we're making it. By God's wonderful grace, we are making it; and we are growing and seeing the joys more each day.
It was hard, especially at first, to see much (or any) of the so-called "joys of parenting" that you hear about. We felt cheated, lied to. There are no joys in inconsolable screams or removing a diaper just as he decides to pee, or waking up every hour to feed a baby who refuses to wake up to eat. Doctor's orders.
But, mercifully, time passes.
And there are joys. And these joys will multiply as Jude grows, and as we grow as parents. Joys are coming in his infectious smiles, sweet conversations of coos and gurgles, in those eyes that gaze with such trust when we give him a bottle or a bath. Joys are coming in a little hand curled up as he sleeps, and as his newborn onesies are almost too small already, we realize he's growing and healthy.
He's already changed so much. From this:
(This was literally when they first handed him to me. I still had that wretched oxygen tube up my nose...)
Five weeks old!
I keep being reminded that parenting, like marriage, was created for our joy, yes, but much deeper, for our sanctification.
I'm so glad God knows what He's doing.