My brain feels slower. I was recently asked an intelligent question, and I was ashamed to find that not only did I have not much of an opinion or an answer, but I struggled with pushing my mind into an intellectual shape to come to an appropriate answer. Since being home, I've read Victor Hugo, I'm currently struggling through some Faulkner . . . and it grieves my heart to know I'm not getting everything I could be getting.
In listening to an old chapel podcast yesterday by Anthony Esolen, I mourned the truth in what he said -- that our culture is not excellent. Our poetry is self-indulgent and pathetic. My own mind is self-indulgent and weak.
I miss the constant stimulation of college, of being surrounded and challenged by good thinkers. I struggle to think well on my own. I feel like I have to start over to get my thoughts where they should be.
Kiddo, don't believe for a second that you are less, you just have to work harder to pursue stimulation and challenge. Now it is your own discipline that must bring you what you want and need. You got this.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. Just pray about it, and the Lord will show you what you need to learn next, seemingly intellectual or not. love you.
ReplyDeleteDo you enjoy Faulkner?
ReplyDeleteI usually do enjoy Faulkner, yes.
ReplyDelete